The Evolution of Want
Cheating, some may argue, isn't merely a lapse in morality but a biologically driven impulse, a trait inherited over generations. From an evolutionary perspective, monogamy isn’t necessarily the most advantageous strategy. What’s prioritized in evolution instead is reproductive success, the drive to pass on one's genes to future generations. In this context, cheating can be seen as a survival tactic, a way to reduce vulnerability by seeking multiple partners to increase the chances of genetic continuity.
A 2015 study involving over 7,000 Finnish twins reported heritability estimates of 63% for men and 40% for women regarding infidelity. These findings indicate that genetic factors may play a more substantial role in men's extramarital behaviors. And while specific genes have not been definitively linked to infidelity, some research points to the dopamine D4 receptor gene (DRD4) as a potential contributor.
A study published in PLoS ONE found that individuals with a certain variant of this gene were more likely to engage in uncommitted sexual activities, such as one-night stands and infidelity. This variant is associated with a heightened response to dopamine, the neurotransmitter related to pleasure and reward, suggesting a biological basis for seeking novel and risky experiences.
I don’t really know how to conclude this, or even make full sense of it with my situation. Just that the lyrics make me think, what if the “biology” isn’t just physical or neurological, but emotional too? Cheating doesn’t always come from lust. Sometimes it's about craving a kind of emotional resonance we don’t get from the person we’re with. The way someone else makes us feel more seen, safer, or more like ourselves. That is a part of survival too.
We want it all. That’s part of being human. To seek out what feels missing. To want the one we can’t have. Maybe not because we’re selfish or flawed, but because we’re wired to feel incomplete sometimes. No single person can be everything to us, and yet our biology doesn’t care. It keeps reaching, until our mentality catches up.